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Oxymorons…all of them!

Okay, so maybe not all of the oxymorons, but quite a few.

For those that want a definition, an oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory words are put together in an unexpected way. Oxymoron comes from the Greek word oksús (meaning “keen”) and mōros (meaning “stupid”). So the word oxymoron is is actually an oxymoron!

Many of us use oxymorons all the time. Some examples, provided in a random order, include:

    • virtual reality
    • unbiased opinion
    • plastic silverware
    • original copy
    • modern history
    • near miss
    • free trade
    • small crowd
    • mutual differences
    • nondairy creamer
    • wireless cable
    • recorded live

Continue reading Oxymorons…all of them!

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Beware of working with me on April Fool’s Day.

I think this coming Monday, I might fill a pharmacy vial with white Tic Tacs and down the whole thing in front of customers to get a reaction.

I have always loved pulling pranks on others (and being pranked in return) on April Fool’s Day.

There was the time back when fax machines printed from long spools of paper so I faxed a nursing unit a roll of printed paper towels (sorry to the old SNU floor at Suburban General).

Going even further back there was the time, as a kid, that I made ice cubes with Mentos and then poured a soda for one of my Mother’s friends. Let’s just say that my laughter was not the only explosive thing.

Clearly I’ve digressed and should move on to tell you about what all we have coming up in the not too distant future:

  • Friday, March 29th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
  • Saturday, March 30th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.
  • Saturday, March 30th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions. This Saturday we are discussing ‘Miracles’.
  • Sunday, March 31st, All Day, Easter ~ Happy Resurrection Sunday!
  • Tuesday, April 2nd, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study.
  • Wednesday, April 17th, 5PM – 7PM, Hoodwinked! ~ This is an animated mystery comedy film. It retells the folktale “Little Red Riding Hood” as a police procedural, using backstories to show multiple characters’ points of view and includes a singing goat, an inept actor, and a hyperactive squirrel.

  • Saturday, May 4th, All Day, 8th Anniversary ~ It’s International Star Wars Day, Our Store’s 8th Anniversary, our soda counter turns 100, our first cook out of the year, and our LEGO contest will be Star Wars themed! More details will be coming soon.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a pizza panini. Our soup is delicious pierogi soup. Our specialty ice creams are Sugar Cookie and Roadrunner Raspberry.

Thanks and God bless

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So I recently met a dragon while camping.


We ended up having a fireside chat. After awhile I had to admit to him that the one thing more amazing than a talking dragon is a spelling bee. He gave me a smouldering look, but eventually he cooled off. He told me that he was so hungry this morning but had to wait to eat because of a dental appointment. I asked him what he ate afterwards and he told me, “the Dentist.”

Continue reading So I recently met a dragon while camping.

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Don’t worry, be happy!

Xanax S Parsons recently spent some time at a local elementary visiting all the classrooms from Pre-K thru Fifth Grade. She had a fantastic time meeting many new children and seeing quite a few familiar faces. As a therapy dog she is well equipped to help children and adults deal with a lot of the challenges that come with this time of year.

Yesterday, I got so depressed I spent entire day listening to Celine Dion records … Or that’s what I thought until I realized a cat had fallen in to the dryer.

I know a lot of people struggle with various states of depression this time of year. Do you know which state is most depressing?
Continue reading Don’t worry, be happy!

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Years ago, on a job interview….

Employer: We need someone responsible for the job.

Me: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.

So our up coming LEGO competition this weekend involves handing kids LEGO minifigures and having them create jobs for them. This made me think of some great moments in my own work history.

Continue reading Years ago, on a job interview….

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Our Annual Public Service Announcement

It takes over 3500 bolts to assemble a car, but it only takes one nut to spread it all across the highway. Don’t drink and drive this New Year’s Eve.

As a result we decided to offer an alcohol free venue at Lost and Found this New Year’s Eve. Starting at 6PM, despite the store being closed we will be playing board games through midnight. I know I’m going to try and convince some of those who come to play Xia: Embers of a forsaken star, and we’re going to make sure that Khan (played by Ricardo Montalbán) blows up at midnight by starting the Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan at precisely 10:25:10 PM

Continue reading Our Annual Public Service Announcement

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So this one is pretty cheesy!

In a freak accident today, a photographer died when a giant cheese wheel crushed him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him. They were all shouting, “Cheese!”

I think he was the famous photographer that took pictures of the cheese factory explosion in France?

When he got there, all that was left was de Brie.

I thought that was a sharp one.

Continue reading So this one is pretty cheesy!