Author: Sean Parsons

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Story 77

Ambassador Elvis

As you exit your vessel onto Kemplar II, a group of individuals dressed in ceremonial royal guard garb greet you. They lead you inside to meet with King Elvis. The moment you enter the throne room, you are struck by its extravagance. Elvis is clad in glittering white robes adorned with rhinestones, and his striking blue gaze immediately meets yours. He sits upon a throne encrusted with shimmering gemstones that catch the gentle lighting.

Elvis gets up from his throne and meets you in the center of the room. “You’re here just in time to take a meal with me. Please join me as I have kept my old robotic butler on as my head chef. He was made aware that you would be joining us, so he has already prepared enough food for everyone.”

You follow the King into the dining room and laid out on the table are a number of platters with interesting aromas wafting from them. Some of which you can identify, but others are new to you. The robotic butler named Austin, begins removing the silver domed lids from everything and names each of the dishes as he goes along.

He lifts the covers off the first two dishes, “For appetizers we have fried dill pickles, and barbecue chicken bites wrapped in bacon.” He opens the next two dishes, “Our sides consist of, mashed potatoes and a triple bean bake.” With a flourish he removes the lid from the last platter, “And our main dish tonight is one of the King’s favorites, meatloaf topped with bacon.” Austin continues, “While everyone gets seated, may I offer anyone a sweet tea?”

Everyone from your crew and the King have a great time telling stories and swapping jokes throughout the meal. Eventually, Austin clears the table and brings everyone coffee and chocolate chip oat cookies. You notice but choose not to comment on the strange way Elvis drinks his coffee from the edge of the cup that is directly above the mug’s handle.

You start to address Elvis as “Your excellency…” but you’re interrupted when his guards suddenly collapse and a group of five ninjas barge in. You get ready to defend yourself, but before you can move, Elvis and Austin spring into action, showcasing impressive fighting skills that surprise you.

The ninjas are quick and skilled, but Elvis and Austin move with an agility and precision that is astonishing. The King is a blur of motion, his rhinestone-covered robes swirling around him as he strikes back at their attackers. Austin, the robotic butler, moves with a fluidity that belies his mechanical nature, his metal limbs darting out to block blows and deliver counterattacks with deadly accuracy.

In the chaos of the fight, you find yourself back to back with Elvis, fending off the ninjas together. Despite the gravity of the situation, you can’t help but be impressed by the King’s combat prowess. As you work in tandem to take down the assailants, Elvis grins at you, his blue eyes shining with excitement.

After a few intense minutes, the last ninja falls to the ground defeated. You catch your breath, adrenaline still coursing through your veins as you survey the scene. Elvis dusts himself off and walks over to you, a wide smile creasing his face.

All you can manage to say is, “That was amazing!”

“Thank you, thank you very much.”, is the King’s response. He turns to you with a serious expression. “But, you didn’t just come here to eat meatloaf and fight ninjas, what is the real reason for your visit?”

“Despite attacks on your personage, your duties here are really just ceremonial. However, you are a symbol of the Lawful Planets. If you were an ambassador on Aeon Station your innate charisma could give our planets a greater voice in intergalactic affairs.”

Elvis nods and you and your crew continue your conversation with the King. Clearly Elvis is sold on the plan. You and the King make plans for him and Austin to fly to Aeon Station on the TCB (Elvis’s ship). When flying towards Aeon Station he will become the primary target of the Scoundrel. If the Scoundrel successfully attacks the TCB, Elvis will feel that it is necessary to blow up the Scoundrel prior to completing his flight to Aeon. You may consider giving him help if that occurs. Once Elvis arrives at Aeon, you gain two Fame Points.

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Story 76

That egg has scales on it

As your ship lands on Planet 0 near the data beacon, you take a quick look out of your cockpit. “Well, that was easier than I expected,” you say to yourself when you spot a single large egg just 10 meters away from the beacon.

Your navigator jumps in, “We’re going to need a grav-sled for this.”

You and your crew immediately notice how interesting this egg is. It’s massive in size, requiring an entire standard cargo space on your ship. The egg’s surface is unlike any other you’ve seen before – it’s covered in rough black scales with a reddish tint. As you struggle to get it onto the grav-sled, you can feel its warmth against your skin. Perhaps it’s just absorbing the heat from the nearby sun.

Once the egg is secured in the cargo bay, your crew hears a loud roar reverberating through the air, containing both high and low pitches. The sound seems to penetrate your very soul as you can feel it vibrating within you.

Quickly, you key the overhead comm and say, “Let’s move, everyone. We don’t want to stick around and find out what made that sound.”

As everyone else was busy loading the egg onto the ship, your first officer had the foresight to divert enough energy from the data beacon for an extra engine boost. You’re now hurtling towards the planetary shield at a frantic speed, but you hear that same unsettling roar once again.

“Incoming weapons fire!” your first officer yells from their station.

With no time to spare, you shout for evasive maneuvers. A splatter of plasma narrowly misses your ship’s hull and collides with the planetary shield, causing a disruption. “Navigator, head for that break in the shield!” you command. The gap closes just as you make it through. “I don’t know what just attacked us, but we need to get this egg off the ship and delivered to the Space Zoo.”

Place the egg game token in your ship’s cargo hold. You may take any additional actions that you still have sufficient armed markers for.

At the beginning of every round while you have the egg in your cargo hold, roll a [d20]. If you roll a 1-3 at any point read/listen to Story 80.

If you get all the way to the Space Zoo and deliver the egg without rolling a 1-3 on a [d20] along the way, then read/listen to Story 81.

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Story 75

Convince the Strayons to take a seat at the table

While talking with Ambassador Tazik you eventually find yourself in a more secluded area on Aeon Station and there in front of you is a transparent steel window overlooking Planet 0. The view is breathtaking, and the Ambassador allows you a moment to appreciate the sight before addressing you.

“It’s almost transcendent,” he says, “to witness such a beautiful and vibrant planet surrounded by the bleakness of space. Many of our home worlds were once this pristine, but over time we have slowly destroyed them through war and exploitation. Few within our general assembly have done better. This particular planet has the strange occurrence that many nearly identical planets have been seen across the cosmos. Unlike other planets similar to Planet 0, this planet has not yet been dominated by any sentient species that would strip it of its resources and beauty. The general assembly has chosen to protect this planet and has placed a shield around it in an attempt to prevent others from despoiling it.”

You nod, understanding the Ambassador’s intention to emotionally connect with you before making his request. You also can’t help but have a sense of familiarity as you view a planet so alike to the one your people had fled from due to disaster.

“So what do you want from me and my people?”

The Ambassador grins, revealing large flat teeth. “We are asking for your government to send an ambassador to join us on Aeon Station. Some opposed your inclusion in our general assembly due to your lack of a homeworld for many years. However, after much debate, it was decided that having your species’ perspective on matters concerning the Drift System and nearby solar systems would be valuable, especially since you are establishing a new home within the Drift System.”

If you choose to try and convince the Strayons to send an ambassador to Aeon Station, fly to the Strayos Colony Ship and listen/read Story 91.

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Story 74

Convince the Ilex to take a seat at the table

While talking with Ambassador Tazik you eventually find yourself in a more secluded area on Aeon Station and there in front of you is a transparent steel window overlooking Planet 0. The view is breathtaking, and the Ambassador allows you a moment to take it in before speaking.

“It’s almost transcendent,” he says, “seeing such a beautiful and vibrant planet surrounded by the bleakness of space. Many of our home worlds were once this pristine, but over time we have slowly destroyed them through war and exploitation. Few within our general assembly have done better. This particular planet has the strange occurrence that many nearly identical planets have been seen across the cosmos. Unlike other planets similar to Planet 0, this planet has not yet been dominated by any sentient species that would strip it of its resources and beauty. The general assembly has chosen to protect this planet and has placed a shield around it in an attempt to prevent others from despoiling it.”

You nod, understanding the Ambassador’s aim in trying to emotionally connect with you before making his request. “So what exactly do you want from me and my pack?”

“I’ve heard that you and your crew appreciate directness,” the Ambassador replies. “We are asking for your government to also send an ambassador to join us on Aeon Station. As your species has a history of conquest and destruction, some oppose your inclusion in our general assembly. However, after much debate, it was decided that having your species’ input on matters concerning the Drift System and nearby solar systems would be beneficial.”

If you choose to try and convince the Ilex to send an ambassador to Aeon Station, fly to the Mission Point on Ularos IX and listen/read Story 79.

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Story 73

Convince Loath to take a seat at the table

While talking with Ambassador Tazik you eventually find yourself in a more secluded area on Aeon Station and there in front of you is a transparent steel window overlooking Planet 0. The view is breathtaking, and the Ambassador allows you a moment to take it in before speaking.

“It’s almost transcendent,” he says, “seeing such a beautiful and vibrant planet surrounded by the bleakness of space. Many of our home worlds were once this pristine, but over time we have slowly destroyed them through war and exploitation. Although, most of the resources on your planet were exploited for the benefit of those that had held your people in captivity. However, few within our general assembly have done better. This particular planet has the strange occurrence that many nearly identical planets have been seen across the cosmos. Unlike other planets similar to Planet 0, this planet has not yet been dominated by any sentient species that would strip it of its resources and beauty. The general assembly has chosen to protect this planet and has placed a shield around it in an attempt to prevent others from despoiling it.”

You nod, understanding the Ambassador’s aim in trying to emotionally connect with you before making his request. “So what exactly do you want from me and my crew?”

“I’ve heard that you and your crew appreciate directness,” the Ambassador replies. “We are asking for your government to also send an ambassador to join us on Aeon Station. As your planet has had a troubled history in its rebellion and subsequent war with Kemplar II and its allies, some oppose your inclusion in our general assembly. However, after much debate, it was decided that having your people’s input on matters concerning the Drift System and nearby solar systems would be beneficial.”

If you choose to try and convince the Outlaw planets to send an ambassador to Aeon Station, fly to the Mission Point on Loath and listen/read Story 78.

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Story 72

Convince Kemplar II to take a seat at the table

While talking with Ambassador Tazik you eventually find yourself in a more secluded area on Aeon Station and there in front of you is a transparent steel window overlooking Planet 0. The view is breathtaking, and the Ambassador allows you a moment to take it in before speaking.

“It’s almost transcendent,” he says, “seeing such a beautiful and vibrant planet surrounded by the bleakness of space. Many of our home worlds were once this pristine, but over time we have slowly destroyed them through war and exploitation. Few within our general assembly have done better. This particular planet has the strange occurrence that many nearly identical planets have been seen across the cosmos. Your recently returned king lived on one such planet that was simply named Earth. Unlike other planets similar to Planet 0, this planet has not yet been dominated by any sentient species that would strip it of its resources and beauty. The general assembly has chosen to protect this planet and has placed a shield around it in an attempt to prevent others from despoiling it.”

You nod, understanding the Ambassador’s aim in trying to emotionally connect with you before making his request. “So what exactly do you want from me and my crew?”

“I’ve heard that you and your crew appreciate directness,” the Ambassador replies. “We are asking for your government to also send an ambassador to join us on Aeon Station. As your planet has had a troubled history with Loath and its prisoners, some oppose your inclusion in our general assembly. However, after much debate, it was decided that having your people’s input on matters concerning the Drift System and nearby solar systems would be beneficial.”

If you choose to try and convince the Lawful planets to send an ambassador to Aeon Station, fly to the Mission Point on Kemplar II and listen/read Story 77.

If you choose not to facilitate finding an ambassador from your people, this story line ends here.

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Story 66

A diplomatic mission

As you disembark from your vessel onto the landing deck you are surprised by the wide array of ship configurations that you’ve never seen before and even more surprising are some of the aliens working on the deck. While there are some that you’ve seen holovids of from other systems, there are also those that are unidentifiable. There are some humans, you see a B’tor with the ability to use all four limbs like arms, as their feet have functioning thumbs, actively working on an engine nacelle and even a couple of Zhian with their scale covered skin, but there is also a large creature that stands well over 2 meters tall and weighs at least 300 kilos with rough looking gray skin and horns on its face, a floating pink cloud that appears to be conversing with a small furry creature less than half a meter tall with a bushy tail. Among the crowded deck, you even see a couple of creatures covered in chitin with compound eyes, mandibles, a proboscis according to your old half-remembered bio lessons, four arms, and dressed in utilitarian gray outfits.

The sight before you was like nothing you had ever seen in your years of space travel. The landing deck was a bustling hub of activity, filled with a multitude of alien species going about their tasks. You take a moment to observe the diverse creatures around you, marveling at the sheer variety of life forms present. The large gray skinned creature wearing some sort of formal looking robe approaches you and your crew.

In a deep sonorous voice befitting the size of his frame, he declares, “I am Ambassador Zonax Tazik. Some of us on Aeon Station are excited that you have chosen to dock with us and at least listen to our request.”

“I couldn’t help but notice the word, ‘Some’. I take it that means there are also some that are not excited by our presence?”

“In our general assembly, not all parties view the people of your home world as someone they trust to confer with; however, a two-thirds majority of the gathered ambassadors did view the pursuit of giving your people the opportunity to have a voice in the general assembly as a necessary feat.”

If your crew is primarily made up of lawful humans, read/listen to Story 72.

If your crew is primarily made up of outlaw humans, read/listen to Story 73.

If your crew is primarily made up of Ilex, read/listen to Story 74.

If your crew is primarily made up of Strayons, read/listen to Story 75.

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Oxymorons…all of them!

Okay, so maybe not all of the oxymorons, but quite a few.

For those that want a definition, an oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory words are put together in an unexpected way. Oxymoron comes from the Greek word oksús (meaning “keen”) and mōros (meaning “stupid”). So the word oxymoron is is actually an oxymoron!

Many of us use oxymorons all the time. Some examples, provided in a random order, include:

    • virtual reality
    • unbiased opinion
    • plastic silverware
    • original copy
    • modern history
    • near miss
    • free trade
    • small crowd
    • mutual differences
    • nondairy creamer
    • wireless cable
    • recorded live

Continue reading Oxymorons…all of them!

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Beware of working with me on April Fool’s Day.

I think this coming Monday, I might fill a pharmacy vial with white Tic Tacs and down the whole thing in front of customers to get a reaction.

I have always loved pulling pranks on others (and being pranked in return) on April Fool’s Day.

There was the time back when fax machines printed from long spools of paper so I faxed a nursing unit a roll of printed paper towels (sorry to the old SNU floor at Suburban General).

Going even further back there was the time, as a kid, that I made ice cubes with Mentos and then poured a soda for one of my Mother’s friends. Let’s just say that my laughter was not the only explosive thing.

Clearly I’ve digressed and should move on to tell you about what all we have coming up in the not too distant future:

  • Friday, March 29th, 6:30ish – 9PM, Board Game Night ~ This has long been a tradition to come in on a Friday and have fun playing games.
  • Saturday, March 30th, 1PM – 3PM, Tech Help ~ We are a handful of tech heads that like technology and would like to help you with your stuff. We can help with cell phone, tablet, and computer problems/questions. We can talk with you about the latest tech like streaming TV, home security, cyber security, etc. This is all done for free, you just need to come in and ask for help.
  • Saturday, March 30th, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bereans Group ~ This group, which is open to the public, we always discuss tough theological questions. This Saturday we are discussing ‘Miracles’.
  • Sunday, March 31st, All Day, Easter ~ Happy Resurrection Sunday!
  • Tuesday, April 2nd, 7PM – 8:30PM, Bible Study ~ We are studying First and Second Corinthians. Feel free to come and join us for this study.
  • Wednesday, April 17th, 5PM – 7PM, Hoodwinked! ~ This is an animated mystery comedy film. It retells the folktale “Little Red Riding Hood” as a police procedural, using backstories to show multiple characters’ points of view and includes a singing goat, an inept actor, and a hyperactive squirrel.

  • Saturday, May 4th, All Day, 8th Anniversary ~ It’s International Star Wars Day, Our Store’s 8th Anniversary, our soda counter turns 100, our first cook out of the year, and our LEGO contest will be Star Wars themed! More details will be coming soon.

Now for the part everyone always asks about, the actual food! Our sandwich is a pizza panini. Our soup is delicious pierogi soup. Our specialty ice creams are Sugar Cookie and Roadrunner Raspberry.

Thanks and God bless
Sean

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